Much awaited Season 5 of Scandal kicked off on September 25, bringing back Liv and Fitz’ raging hormones amidst lover’s quarrel, Poor Cy who got fired and his you’d- feel-so-sorry-about-lovable- monster look, Witch-on-a-broom Liz North, Not-so-smelly Mellie trying to team play a rotting relationship with Fitz, I’m the man in the house Abby, and a dwarf of a Hulk –Huck who tries to seek help because he let out ‘his guy’ (no pun intended).
We sigh of relief as a short recap that shows last season finale’s fiascos and the knowledge of Rowan not being around to do his peculiar twitching and twisting of ‘You can’t take Command’. So far, Mellie’s in trouble, Cy is replaced by Liz North as Chief of Staff, Liv and Fitz are back together, Quinn is mad at Huck, Huck is mad at himself, Sally Langston is Sally Langston and the White House is still the hub of Scandals.
Opening with the wannabe President Sally Langston’s sharp tongue, expressing her distaste on a dinner White House is holding with the Queen, Prince and his wife Princess Emily of Caledonia. Sally, Nobody gives a fuck about what you think in your seemingly fake southern accent.
Meanwhile, our lead couple is doin’ it all night… as you see Liv’s O-face in practically 3 shots through the scene. (The girl’s got some commendable libido, gotta say!)
Post their ‘hi’ and some more coochie-cooing, we see the Princess and Prince of Caledonia heading to the White house for dinner. The girl looks bleh.. meh.. whatever.. The Princess was a commoner who fell in love with a Prince and got married. (Was that a dig on a certain Princess in England? tch tch)
Liv and Fitz cannot get enough of each other… We geddit… Canoodling much deserved. As long as we get to see Goldwyn semi naked, all is well.
Susan is, well, Susan… When the Queen of Caledonia says her rise to Vice Presidency was rather fast… Susan replies with a look of a housewife surprised with a plot-twist, “It was fast, wasn’t it?” which earns her a bitch face from the queen.
Abby and Liv are back to being besties, as we see a gossipy-bitchy Abby asking Olivia if she’s had any escapades with delicious Goldwyn yet.
In the ladies’ room, the Princess overhears Abby going all ‘oh that girl is so lucky’ and ‘she is the person who fell in love with the Prince and not herself’. The Princess overhears it and begins her sob-story of how she isn’t a person to the media and just the shell of Princess she is in. Yeah. Talk about being grateful. You marry a Prince and then complaint media is objectifying you? Welcome to the real world, “Princess”!
Exactly two and a half minutes later,
BOOM! Princess is dead, Liv is called by her Majesty to Solve the case, ofcourse.
BTW, Fitz wants a naval base in Caledonia and is in talks with the Queen since six months. #justsaying
The Queen wants all the pictures back from the paparazzi.
Liv uses her only magic wand (Quinn) and Voila!
Oh.. wait.. there’s one picture some media house will still run…
Now, what will the genius Liv do? Save the Day, Duh!?
She does a photo-op of the prince himself looking at the Princess’ body. Poor little prince, well, cries.
Meanwhile, Quinn figures out that the system in the car was hacked, a photographer was not a photographer, and the Princess was, in fact, murdered….
*ooooooooooohhhhhhh*
In other news….
Liz North is ‘summoned’ by Mellie on why Fitz won’t be there at her swearing ceremony as state senator. Lizzie bear has grown claws of her own, (the marks of which will be seen on Mellie’s back, this time, geddit? Geddit?) This scene, is so epic, Liz North competes with Liv in terms of being the ‘mean girl’. It’s one of the highlights of Portia deRossi’s performance in Scandal.
Abby made a boo boo
Because the President DOES attend Mellie’s ceremony, because… who convinced him? No prizes for guessing!
Journalists in the Press Room can be quite bitchy, you know?
And then…. Shonda Rhimes shines…
“Mellie, I’m divorcing you,” said Delicious Goldwyn.
Back at OPA, Quinn and Liv figure that the Princess was having an affair with her bodyguard. She was also pregnant with his child.
The bodyguard also died in the accident.
Liv thinks it’s the Prince who got her killed, tells Fitz first, who refuses to take any steps. Politics, y’all, can be crazy…
(Naval Base, people, Naval Base)
They quarrel, and Liv comes back home where Huck is waiting. He asks her to ‘fix him’ which she says she can’t. (I don’t buy that, do you?)
Mellie goes to the poor monster Cy for help, to stop the divorce and asks him to also go back and take his job. (Not like Liv’s testosterone-driven speech of last season though when he had resigned) Cy says no.
Rosen comes with a bunch of bendy laws, that diplomatic immunity can be waived in certain circumstances and that there can be something done regarding the Prince. He also confirms that the photographer, was in fact, a killer.
Liv goes to the Queen…
And discovers that the Queen killed the Princess, because the heir wasn’t their own blood.
Oh I’m constipated! (Sorry)
Our Liv plays her ‘Hail Mary’.
Goes to the Prince, tells him all the dirt.
The Queen will abdicate and the Prince shall take over as soon as they land in Caledonia. The Queen, will however, spend the rest of her time at the Winter Palace, ALONE.
*Whistles*
“All fairy tales don’t have happy endings, but the Evil Queens, they do tend to go down,”
-Olivia Pope
Liv and Fitz, decide to wait before coming out in the open. Because until they are ready, “we will be ripped out,” Liv says.
But, Sally the bitch reveals some shocking footage from the White House….
Dang Dang Dang…
Pakaamat 